Most women naturally feel a bit anxious the first time they have sex. “Will I enjoy it?” “Will it hurt?” “Will I satisfy my partner?” “Is this the right thing to do?” These are common questions women ponder before their first time. The truth is, you probably won't remember your first sexual experiences as the best sex you've ever had. Most women agree that the first time often hurts a bit, is awkward, and can be quite uncomfortable. Once you get past the initial experiences, you'll start to enjoy all the pleasures this type of intimacy has to offer.
Being Prepared
The first thing to consider is the person you're with. You want your first time to be with someone who truly cares about you. Since the sex itself might not be spectacular the first few times, the person you're with is what you'll want to remember. Many women rush into having sex before they're ready, because their friends are doing it or their boyfriend is asking for it. Neither of these should be part of your decision-making process; there's no right amount of time to wait, just make sure you won't regret the decision later.
Some questions you might ask yourself are: “Do I trust my partner?” “Can I see myself having a long-term relationship with this person?” “Am I being pressured?” “Am I having sex for myself, or for someone else?”
Everyone has concerns, but if you don't feel completely ready, wait. If the guy you're with truly cares about you, he'll understand that this is an important decision and that you don't want to rush it. You don't want to give this moment to someone who cares more about his status with friends than your feelings.
Tips
Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable; your bedroom might be the best option. Pick a time when roommates/parents/friends won't interrupt. Gain some experience beforehand. You'll want to be familiar with touching yourself for some time before taking the plunge. Have a good understanding of how you and your body work; having played together will ease much of the tension. Make sure you're 100% comfortable being naked with the lights on, as sex is much more intimate when you can see each other.
Communication is the most important aspect of a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about it beforehand to ensure you're both on the same page. Discussing it will help you feel more comfortable with the idea.
Most women feel pain during sex the first few times because they're not used to having something penetrate them. This can be significantly reduced through masturbation. Whether you do it yourself or your partner uses their fingers, stretching your vaginal opening will undoubtedly improve the experience.
Feel free to say stop whenever you want, whether you haven't started yet, are just beginning, or are well into it. It might be because you're going too fast, or something about the situation makes you uncomfortable. The reason can be anything, just make sure the person you're with is willing to respect your wishes.
Excessive vaginal dryness can be an issue, especially when you're nervous during your first sexual experience. While lubricant won't eliminate all pain, it will certainly lessen it to some extent. You can start with Aquaglide Lubricant, available at our online erotic store.
There are some positions that are great for beginners, depending on your concerns. If you want to be in control, we suggest your partner lies down, and you take charge with the “cowgirl” style. If you prefer to be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.
If your partner experiences erection issues or premature ejaculation—both common during initial experiences—offer support. This can be one of the most awkward things for a young man, and if not handled properly, it can lead to future problems. If erection issues occur, try to stimulate him a bit and wait some time before trying again.
The most important thing you need to know is to practice safe sex by using protection. Whether it's to protect against pregnancy or to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, you'll want to protect yourself as much as possible. Until you and your partner have been tested for STDs and you've sorted out birth control, there's no excuse not to use protection. Just because there's no excuse not to use protection doesn't mean guys won't try to avoid it. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies or order them online from our online sex shop.
Remember, this experience should be a very special and intimate moment for both of you. Good luck, and remember, the best sex happens with people who truly care about you.