Introduction to Sex Toys
One of the perks of being a tester or blogger for sex toys is really talking to people about the benefits of sex toys in a relationship. Sure, I understand the more conventional folks who are shocked when I bring this up. However, I enjoy talking to people who are as excited about sex toys as I am. So, needless to say, when my best friend asked me about the possibility of buying a sex toy for him and his girlfriend, I was taken aback. I gave them a virtual tour of Pure Pleasure and after an hour of browsing erotic products, we picked out a few toys. Everything went well. It was only a few months later when the horrible truth emerged: some people aren't ready for sex toys. Some get easily jealous of a toy. Some might even feel threatened by them. This can lead to very negative reactions. My advice to you is: assess your situation before going on a hunt for a vibrator. Nine times out of ten, it's never the vibrator's fault.Most people I meet simply don't like or want a sex toy. The main reason is they believe they don't need them. Of course, about 99.9% of those who say this are men. You can assume what you like, but I seriously think these guys just don't want competition. They feel it's a threat to their manhood, which is directly linked to their penis—so sex toys are a definite NO and probably always will be. Sometimes, however, you can show them the benefits and let them make their own decisions.
That was the case with my best friend and his girlfriend. Everything seemed fine for the moment. Until the day he called me and said he had just put the vibrator in the microwave!
The Green-Eyed Monster
Now, I remember the feelings of that moment. I wanted to scream! As we all know, vibrators can be quite expensive. The one I bought for them was the most luxurious of the brand. I wanted them to have the best. This was largely because I didn't want to buy them "the cheap one" that I knew wouldn't provide any positive results, which could turn them away from sex toys forever. The other main feeling was that I knew this was going to happen. I knew he wasn't ready for a sex toy to be introduced into his sexual routine. My friend is a typical jealous man. After a few times with the toy in bed with his girlfriend, he started to feel like he was coming in second. This then turned into believing she was using it when he wasn't around. He told me, in great detail, about the traps he set on the toy to know if she truly used it while he wasn't there; placing objects near or on top of the toy's box, arranged in such a way that he would know if she had moved them to take it out and use it, and the list went on. Needless to say, he was convinced she was using it without him.Maybe she was. Here's the thing: a large percentage of men masturbate. It's a topic that's hardly ever discussed because, well, it's just obvious. It's as natural as breathing. All of us men are aware that we do it, which is why we almost never talk about it. Now, at some point, we've convinced ourselves that women don't do it! Don't ask me why, but many men I talk to are convinced that their wife or girlfriend doesn't masturbate. When I ask them why, they can only respond with: "Why would she? She has me." Now, when I ask them if they masturbate, they almost always respond quite quickly, "Well, yes, but what's that got to do with it?"
EVERYTHING!!!
I could go on about this! Women masturbate. That's just how it is. Just like us, they do it because they're exploring their bodies and trying to figure out what works best for them. Above all, it just feels good. So why do you think men and women are different when it comes to masturbation? I get offended when people act like it's taboo to say a woman masturbates. It just doesn't make sense to me.
Let's move on before I keep ranting.
Communication
After I asked my golden question, my friend responded by telling me he hadn't had sex with his girlfriend for a few weeks. This was a bit concerning for me. Not because I believed it was the vibrator that had officially ended things. I saw it as a warning sign of another issue. So I asked him some questions about his relationship and the current state he thought it was in. After a while, it became clear that the vibrator wasn't the root of their problems. The vibrator wasn't even a small branch of this disaster tree they were growing. There were claims and confessions of cheating, verbal and physical abuse, accusations of drug addiction. The list went on and on. It didn't sound like a good situation. My friend was in a rut and was acting foolishly because of it. He was looking for anything to blame. I could only call this a volatile relationship that was undoubtedly about to reach a tragic and possibly violent end. He needed to hear this."The first thing a man needs to do is talk to her about it instead of throwing her vibrator in the damn microwave! What do you want to do? Do you seriously think there's only one vibrator in the world? She'll buy another one! Trust me, the vibrator is not the issue here. She's obviously unhappy, and based on what you've told me, so are you! Why on earth haven't you talked to her about all this? If there's still love in your relationship, then you'll have to find a way to end all this nonsense and get back together. However, I honestly have to say it's over, and maybe you should be an even bigger man and tell her how you really feel and then tell her to leave!"
He was silent for a while and finally agreed with me that maybe it was time to tell her he was sorry for everything. I felt relieved to hear it, but I was still quite upset about the whole thought of the vibrator in the microwave.