She and He Play: Stronic Eins

We're sure you've heard about the Stronic Eins vibrator by Fun Factory. The new technology wrapped in this plush silicone from Fun Factory? What? So we sent Rydell and Susan to see just how different this sex toy really is. Read on to see what they thought.

For about two and a half minutes, I felt a bit bad for not having a romantic scene to frame this particular review. But then I realized that the Stronic Eins by Fun Factory isn't really a romantic toy. It's more of a...

“It's a fucking machine!” Susan says, with more enthusiasm than mere text can convey. “It's not a toy for romance, it's a sex toy, and it's cool, and it gives you tons of fun!”

How can I possibly follow that demanding and profound comment with any of my own? “You don't need to,” Susan says. “Let me talk.”

“You know that gadget you see in porn movies? A dildo attached to a mechanical arm connected to a motor? A woman gets into the right position—and apparently at a perfectly calculated distance—and then the motorized dildo does the rest. It's an incredible machine, isn't it? I admit it's something interesting, but once you put real thought into the logistics and mechanics, it gets pretty complicated pretty quickly.

“The Stronic Eins has all that intrigue, but none of the hassle.”

Indeed, on the outside, it looks like a perfectly innocuous vibrator with a smooth upward curve at one end and three operation buttons at the other. In fact, the most striking feature is the bright red button with the word “FUN” marked on it that turns it on and off. The adjacent advantage and cycle through different functions. (And honestly, how long did it take a company to brand the power button of a sex toy as fun? Brilliant.)

The mechanics of this sex toy, however, are anything but innocuous. However, the first thing we have to say is that it is absolutely not a vibrator, and there is very little, if any, clitoral stimulation. The product website calls it a “thruster” that uses “innovative motor technology, where a solid metal moves in a hollow body.” Beyond that, I can't explain how it works, but I can say that the end result is a phallic device that abandons frantic buzzing patterns to throb more deliberately and leisurely toward the G-spot.

“It's been a welcome change,” Susan says. “I almost always end up using vibrators on their fastest constant setting. They give me orgasms, no doubt, but there's something rushed about them. They're orgasms with this sense of imperative urgency. I don't need more of that outside our bedroom. I like slower stimulation.”

“I also really like the insertion. Regular vibrations are designed to be in direct contact with the clitoris, and that feels good. But if you push it inside, the stimulation is interrupted. The Stronic is meant to be inside.”

Judging by the dimensions—about 16 centimeters insertable with a circumference of 14 centimeters, not too big, not too small—and the silicone is of high medical grade, Susan's observation about the design's intention seems correct. “Yes, the size is fine, but I was talking about what it does inside,” she says.

The throbbing?

“Yes,” she continues. “From an engineering standpoint, it's an incredible piece. Rydell can use words like 'beat' and 'pulse' all he wants, but the simple truth—and the best way to describe it—is that it feels like this is fucking me. I couldn't even comprehend it the first time. I'm lying on the bed, Rydell is sitting next to me, and this simple-looking gadget is just going to town between my legs. Not full strokes, of course, but when I put it in (use a bit of lube) and turn it back on... I don't know what's happening with that solid metal in the hollow body, but it really feels like it's moving in and out on its own. It's crazy.”

“Once it's in position, I follow with a couple of fingers at the base to make sure it stays put,” Susan says. “It fits so well, though, that I can usually pull my hand away without much trouble.”

Just don't pull it out at the wrong moment. During our first session, I grabbed the end of the handle and started moving it side to side and back and forth, exactly as you would with a regular vibrator. “It actually pulled out just as one of the crescendo beats was about to hit,” Susan says. “I clamped my hands on the bed and told him to stick it back in. That's when we learned you just let it do its job.

That's also when we learned that intense stimulation isn't necessarily reserved for sex toys that buzz at a gazillion gigahertz. In fact, of the 10 pulsation modes—which range from constant to oscillating to crescendo arrangements—Susan prefers those on the lower end of the frequency scale. “My favorite is one of the slower ones,” she says. “But it creates this mental anticipation that drives me crazy, and every time it hits heavily against my G-spot—and I didn't realize in the perfect spot—my vaginal muscles contract and bring me closer to one of those long and endless orgasms.”

Out of curiosity, I actually counted the beats of Susan's favorite setting and found it beats about twice per second. “For a toy, it's not very fast at all,” she says. “But it feels like a slow-motion jackhammer in my pussy.”

Or your own personal fucking machine without the ridiculousness. “That's it!”