There are two lubes worth arguing about. Everything else on the shelf is one of these two with something added: a flavour, a warming agent, aloe, a thicker texture for anal.

So the real question is short. Water or silicone. Here's how to answer it without reading twelve product pages.

What's the actual difference?

Water-based lube is mostly water. It feels close to natural wetness, it washes off with water, and it's compatible with everything. Its weakness is that it dries out, because water evaporates. You reactivate it with a bit more water or a bit more lube.

Silicone lube isn't absorbed by skin at all. It sits on the surface and stays slippery for as long as you need, including underwater. Its weakness is that it doesn't rinse away on its own. You need soap. And it attacks silicone toys, which we'll get to, because that's the bit people find out too late.

When should you use water-based lube?

Most of the time, honestly. It's the default for a reason.

Use it with any silicone toy. Use it with condoms. Use it if you're prone to irritation and want the shortest ingredients list you can find. Use it if you don't fancy scrubbing the sheets afterwards.

Eros Aqua is the plain version of this: water-based, neutral, colourless, odourless, latex-condom compatible. Nothing clever, and that's the appeal. A little goes a long way.

If you want something with a bit more care built in, LELO's water-based moisturiser adds aloe vera, skips glycerin and parabens, doesn't stain, and is safe with every pleasure product. It's the one to reach for if plain formulas have felt drying.

The full range sits in water-based lubes.

When should you use silicone lube?

Three situations, and outside them it's overkill.

In water. Bath, shower, anywhere wet. Water-based lube washes off in about ten seconds in a shower. Silicone doesn't move.

Anal play. You want something that lasts without reapplying every couple of minutes, and silicone is the material that does that best.

Long sessions. If you're stopping to top up, silicone solves the problem outright.

Pjur Original is the reference product here. It was the first silicone lube on the market and it's still the best-selling one, it's odourless and tasteless, and the formula is concentrated enough that a few drops cover a lot. It's latex-condom compatible.

The rest of what we stock is in silicone-based lubes.

Why can't you use silicone lube on a silicone toy?

Because silicone bonds to silicone. Put a silicone lube on a silicone toy and the surface starts to swell, go tacky and then pit. It's not instant. It happens over several uses, which is exactly why people don't connect the cause to the effect.

Once the surface is pitted, the toy is no longer non-porous, and a porous surface is one you can't properly clean. At that point the toy is finished, whatever it cost.

The rule is simple: silicone toy, water-based lube. Every time. No exceptions worth taking a chance on.

There is one workaround, and it's a bad one: put a condom on the toy and use silicone lube over that. It works. It's also more faff than just buying the right lube.

Glass, metal and stainless steel toys don't care. Any lube is fine on those. If you're not sure what your toy is made of, check the product page for the material before you open a bottle of silicone lube near it.

What about condoms?

Both water-based and silicone lube are fine with latex condoms. Both are fine with polyisoprene.

What isn't fine is oil. Coconut oil, baby oil, massage oil, Vaseline. Oil degrades latex and a degraded condom fails. That's the one hard line in this whole subject, and it matters more than the water-versus-silicone question ever will.

Which one should you buy if you're only buying one?

Water-based. It's compatible with everything you own and everything you're likely to buy next.

Buy silicone as the second bottle, when you've hit an actual reason for it: you want to use lube in the shower, or you're doing something that needs a lube that won't quit.

If you want both without thinking about it, the sequence most people land on is a big bottle of water-based for everyday use, and a small bottle of silicone for the shower. That covers essentially everything.

For flavoured, warming and anal-specific formulas, and how they differ from the plain versions, our lubricants guide goes through the categories one at a time.

A few things people get wrong

Buying the biggest bottle first. Lubes vary in feel more than you'd think, and skins react differently. Buy a small one, use it a few times, then commit.

Ignoring the ingredients. If you're getting irritation with a water-based lube, check for glycerin. Some people are fine with it and some aren't. Swapping to a glycerin-free formula is usually the whole fix.

Not using enough. More lube than you think, reapplied sooner than you think. Almost nobody uses too much.

Assuming hybrid means best of both. Hybrid lubes mix water and silicone. They last longer than pure water-based, but they still contain silicone, so the toy rule still applies. Check the label before it goes near a silicone toy.

One note on ordering: lubricants can't be returned once opened, for obvious hygiene reasons. Our 30-day returns policy and the statutory 14-day UK right to cancel under the Consumer Contracts Regulations both cover sealed products only. So start small.

FAQs

Can I mix water-based and silicone lube? Yes, and it's a known trick. Silicone first for longevity, water-based on top for feel. Just don't do it on a silicone toy.

Does silicone lube stain sheets? It can, and it doesn't come out as easily as water-based does. Put a towel down.

Why does my water-based lube go sticky? The water has evaporated and left the thickener behind. Add a splash of water rather than more lube and it comes straight back.

Is silicone lube safe to use with condoms? Yes, with latex and polyisoprene. It's oil-based products that damage latex, not silicone ones.